(It’s Not) Fairy Petition…

Wishing more fairies would pattern their livelihoods after the Tooth-fairy (who, oddly enough, is banned from our house until she can stop scaring small children who are only pretending to be asleep while she’s moving all around under their pillow)...

Instead I have:

The Pen/Pencil Fairy who removes every last stinkin' one of anything that writes even remotely well and is within reach and leaves lost Utility Bills stuffed into their place.

The Sock Fairy (doesn't just visit the dryer – and who does NOT leave change at our house like he does at others) and leaves me Dust galore (and not the sparkly kind) All. Over. The. House. – Seriously, reign it in, Dude. 

The Fork Fairy (WHY??!! I am honestly baffled…) who has reduced two separate fancy utensil sets to one fork each and is slightly over abundant in his giving of Extra Pounds (not the $ kind - sigh) that seem to just show up on the scale.

The Undies Fairy (sorry Mom) who trades the 6 pairs of used undies my kids SWEAR they changed and put in the hamper with double the number of towels...all wet...and at the bottom of the bin...for days...(I had originally thought I had a towel fairy, but alas…)

The Cell Phone Fairy who doesn't exactly take your phone but who just moves it from the bottom of your bag or that outside zippered pocket (then puts it in a totally random location like the fridge, sock drawer, back pocket, right where you left it plugged into the wall, etc.) and leaves some sort of old, out of the wrapper, sticky candy/gum thing in it's place....every single time...

And the worst of all?? - The Change Fairy who steals every last penny and nickel from the change spot in the car and beneath the seat (Sorry, Son, I just knew I had enough in here for your lunch today…how about this old Starburst I found in the bottom of my bag where I thought I left my cell phone? – They saved my life once, ya know.) and replaces them lovingly with old milky sippy cups. (He really loves to hide them well.) I mean, seriously, how do I get THAT one reversed!

Wondering if there's a (It’s not Fair-y) petition I could sign somewhere...

Of all the things I’ve lost this week, I miss my mind the most….

So….in the last week or so I have lost the following:

• Ryan’s wedding ring (who knows….)
• The diaper bag (found & will get it back later this week)
• My video camera (found & will get it back later this week)
• My Nikon D300 (found & will get it back later this week)
• My purse w/all my credit cards & forms of ID (cancelled and new ones ordered)
• 2 full sets of keys for my home, and all 5 of our cars (replaced…for $40! UGH)
• My mind….. (irretrievable)

So, would anyone else like to entrust me with anything that’s SUPER valuable and/or necessary for everyday life??  Anyone?  Don’t worry….I haven’t lost any of my kids….YET….

Meh!!

Now, in the computer world, Meh. is a sign of indifference….BUT….in the Edwards Family world we’ve been using Meh!! as a sign of frustration for YEARS!!

You see, it’s my one Sunday a month when I’m a little more easily frustrated than others and my kids are on the rampage. Sylvie threw an all out fit in Sacrament meeting today and started screaming, “I no like this church!…I no want to go to this church!” Now, by “this church” she meant sacrament meeting because she wanted to play in nursery and I kept telling her it wasn’t time. She also dumped her sacrament water all over herself and threw crayons at the family behind us. Ryan couldn’t help me because he was out in the hall with screaming Ella who was mad that he’d drawn with purple crayon on the piece of paper she didn’t want purple crayon on. After we got home and after all the crying fits and time outs it was eventually time for supper where I can’t seem to keep either of the girls at the table. It’s like this every meal and now that Sylvie is potty training she thinks she can ask to go every 3 seconds and then requests candy as soon as she exits when she has yet to take a bit of her food. I then get grumpy and yell at kids to get in their seats and eat their food and Ella keeps saying, “Mommy, don’t say EAT, say Oh Snap!”….”Mommy, don’t say In Trouble, say Oh Snap!”….”Mommy, don’t say Mad, say, OH SNAP!”….”Mommy, don’t say Macaroni, say Oh Snap!” (See, we’ve been trying to redirect some of the words the girls were using like Oh my Goodness, and such with something we found a bit more humorous and harmless like Oh Snap! but Ella waits until I’m in crazed mommy mode and then starts correcting everything I’m saying…..it makes me even crazier….) Then Dade & Corben decide they want to help so they start yelling at the girls over the top of my yelling so that they can’t hear that I’ve stopped yelling at the girls and am now yelling at them and then they look at me confused and start yelling at me about Why are you Mad at me? I’m just helping YOU out! and such and all the yelling and screaming and asking to go potty is echoing all around in my beautiful kitchen making it a kitchen of horrors and I’m dying to run away and take a long vacation but i can’t because my husband is no where to be found….oh wait, that’s right, he had to go take something back to a friends house. I’m on my own. NO WAIT, I’m NEVER on my own, I ALWAYS have 4 kids following me everywhere making me nuts. Good thing I love them so much…………………….Meh! (I’ll be fine once they’re all in bed….and tomorrow will be GREAT!)

Dear Time….

Dear Time,

Would you please pause for just a bit, a day, even a few hours. You see, I’m behind. On cleaning, on pictures, on church things, on family things, on a million things, especially this blog. You see, life in general seems to have simply gotten ahead of me and if I’m to even have a moment to sit and catch up, to sit and write and document my family’s life I need to have TIME. And the longer I take to write it all down, the more there is to write. You see the dilemma….don’t you? So, you know, if you’ve had a few vacation days you’ve been saving up, some far off exotic place you’ve been meaning to visit, some hobbies that simply have gotten neglected in all of your 24/7 hard work, then, by all means, I’d love to suggest that you take a bit of time off. Just a bit so the rest of us can catch up. Maybe then, after your break and ours, we can all get back together and get on with our happily content, much more organized, fully caught up lives….and blogs….just a thought. Thanks.

Love, Christy

Embarrassed…..

So I can’t get either of the girls out of bed this morning and we were running late SO everyone went in their pajamas (well, not me) to take Corben to school. It’s not like this is a new thing, though most of the time we do have time to get dressed first. Anyway, Ella is SCREAMING in the car and I can’t tell what she’s saying. I’m trying to calm her by telling her that later we’re going to go to the park to see her friends. At this point, she starts screaming louder! I finally get her to calm down enough to understand her and she’s saying, “They’re going to laugh at me!” I’m like, “What? Who’s going to laugh at you?” And as she continues sobbing she says, “My friends are going to laugh at me in my pajamas!” OH! How sad! First of all because she thinks I’m actually going to take her out of the car in her pjs (Well, actually I’d considered running into Walgreens but I guess that’s a no go.) and she’s horrified, and 2nd because she’s already worried that her friends judge her on what she’s wearing! My Ella isn’t afraid of ANYTHING but she’s suddenly worried about what other people think??? I’m not ready for this whole growing up thing. She’s not even 4!!…….and are other 3 year olds REALLY judging her??? I thought it was all love and compliments at this age……I mean, at my age, I envy the person who gets to stay in their pj’s all day!